Zev Porat

Friday, January 17, 2020

COMPARING OURSELVES WITH OTHERS IS NOT WISE

by Rev. Joda Collins

I had a very good friend years ago (now deceased) who I met when I was in my mid-30's and he was in his late 60's.  He had severe degeneration of the muscles in his hands especially around his thumbs.  He could not hold a fork or spoon like most of us do, but did so like children often do; make a fist and slide the fork or spoon handle into the fist starting just above the thumb.  He told me, with giggles, of an incident  when he was eating at a restaurant and a boy of about four or five-years of age setting at the table next to him blurted out, "Mister! You are holding the fork wrong. Hold it like this!" as the helpful young fellow showed my friend how to hold the fork like a grown-up with thumb atop the handle, the handle guided by the index finger and resting on the next finger.

Image result for a child holding a spoon


Needless to say the parents were embarrassed, told their son to hush and profusely apologies to my friend.  My friend, who always had a good attitude, said, "Well thank you, young man for your help, but I hurt my hand and for now I have to hold my fork differently."  The boy smiled and said, 'Oh!" and everyone continued to enjoy their food as my friend and the boy's parents exchanged the kind of smiles that only the innocence of a child can create.  

In this instance the standard for right and wrong, good and bad was the way the boy had been taught to hold his fork.  The standard for everyone else, according to the boy, was himself.  My friend held his fork in a manner that violated the boy's standard, thus according to the boy, there was need for correction. 

I was once an administrator of a business. I cannot be too specific.  On my first day, as fate (God) would have it, I negotiated a contact with a business machine company that saved my company about $3,000.00.  The split second the machine company representative stated the price for our annual renewal of the service and replacement contract for the various machines strewn around our eight offices, I said, "SOLD!" Stuck out my hand we shook on it. I was the employee of a smaller company and a $3,000.00 annual savings was significant.  Actually, what happened is the employee of the business machine company was new and quoted the price from the line on his paperwork that stated, "Our Cost" rather than from the line that stated, "Client Cost".

A couple of days later the machine company employee showed up at my office and explained he was in trouble because he only charged me their estimated cost for providing, servicing and replacing the equipment for the year and forgot to calculate the profit.   I told him I understood and suggested we void the previous contact and begin renegotiating for the annual price.  He told me his boss said let the agreed on price stand for this year, but his boss told him to let me know the price for next year will not be so low.  I encouraged him to add some profit, but he said no. 

Following this, I saved the business more than $600 on a painting contact.  

Within a few days I met several times with disgruntled employees who were upset with the boss and creating some discord in the business among the rank and file because of their frustration.   The boss was wrong and unapproachable.  The disgruntled employees had valid concerns. I made a list of the employee's concerns and asked the employees to give me four months to resolve every concern but in the meantime not to cause any further unrest in the business over their concerns. They all agreed.  I never took the list to my boss. I  never told him about my meetings with disgruntled employees.  I just started working on the projects a little at a time, making only slight adjustments towards correction at every opportunity.  If you make a 2% adjustment on an ongoing situation, over time the trajectory of the task changes greatly.  Ten 2% changes over time will typically correct most bad situations and a 2% change seldom disrupts a business. 

Except  for one, the policies the boss had in place were good policies but he administrated those policies in bad (disruptive) ways that produced bad results for everyone including the employees, customers and the boss (management). A wife can make a great meal for her husband, but if she throws the plate of food at him and nags him while he is trying to eat, the best meal loses it savor. My boss was not the kind of man that could be easily reasoned with.  However, I thought I had his okay to make minor changes as the administrator.  

Soon, the business was humming like a well-oiled machine.  Happy employees, production up, client base up, profits up, improvements abounding and the future bright. Everyone was happy except my boss.  Why he became more and more sour as the business was doing better and better was a mystery to me. 

After a few months, he called me into his office and told me I was fired. He said, "I like your results but you just don't do things the way I do them." 

I thought of the little boy whose standard for holding a fork was the way he did it, felt compelled to declare my friend in error and mandate correction to conform to him. That was cute and innocent.  This man was neither cute nor innocent.  He fired me because his gold-standard for the way to be an administrator was himself and I was deemed wrong because my approach to problem solving was soft, gentle, gradual and kind compared to his approach which was hard, aggressive, abrupt, and my way or the highway.  His approach is the reason the business was in trouble when I arrived as the administrator to fill that newly created position.  My approach was the reason the troubles disappeared and the troubles replaced with happiness and prosperity. 

What biblical principle did my boss violate?

For we dare not...compare ourselves with others....  Those that measure (judge)...others by themselves...are not wise.  Paraphrase of 2 Corinthians 10:12. 

"Oh, don't worry; we wouldn't dare say that we are as wonderful as these other men who tell you how important they are! But they are only comparing themselves with each other, using themselves as the standard of measurement. How ignorant!"  2 Corinthians 10:12 NLT.

My boss was not a wise person. He was arrogant.  It is that simple. 

Since then, I applied for work at another business for an assistant manager position.   The man who would have been my immediate supervisor made it clear to me from the beginning that I was expected to do things his way only but I would still be held accountable for the results. He was looking for some one to be his mini-me.   I immediately withdrew my application for employment. Been there. Done that.  I learned my lesson.  Do not give me tasks to do, mandate inferior ways they have to be done, and then hold me responsible for the inferior results. 

I served as a senior pastor for more than two decades.  I trained every staff member to do things my way and told each one to give my way a fair chance to work for him or her; however, if he or she found a better way to do things, do things their way.  As long as the results were positive, I left them alone to do their job the best way they knew how to do it. People who worked under my ministry leadership were both happy and productive. 

I am retired from the ministry and now have my own business (since 2008).  I have six mandatory rules that are basically business ethics.  I train employees to do operational things my way and tell them if they find a better way after giving my way a fair chance to succeed, do things their way.  As long as results are positive, l leave therm alone.  

Regarding my customers (service-oriented business), I tell them what I will do for them, how I will get it done and how much it will cost.  If they want me to do it their way, I give them a re-quote letting them know how much more it will cost to do it their way and if the results will be inferior because their way will not bring the best results.  Then I let them choose which way they want it done. Some are wise and let me do it my way. They end up getting more for less money.  Some lack wisdom and demand I do it their way even if it cost them more.  Either way works for me as long as I get paid.  Money from unwise people spends just like money from wise people; I just get more money from unwise people.  Once in a while a person wants me to do things their way, but only pay me for the lesser time it will take me to do things my way. I tell them what they are asking me to do is work for free, and I do not work for free.

I learned a great lesson from my unwise boss.  I have avoided a lot of negatives and made some extra money from the lesson he taught me. You cannot make an unwise person wise. The goal is to get away from unwise people or arrange it so their lack of wisdom costs them and not you. 



According to scripture, our standard is the Lord Jesus Christ and the written Word of God.  When we replace ourselves as the standard, that says something quite critical about our character.  I no longer invest my time and energy trying to do things the best way when my supervisor thinks he is the gold-standard for how to do things and his way is not good.  I do things his way while I look for a gracious way out from under his egotistical thumb.

My mother often applied the following saying to me when I was growing up.  She said, "You are the only person I know of who can fall into a bucket of manure and come out smelling like a rose."  That is because I do not quit, I am always moving in the direction of improvement, I prefer many little changes rather than wholesale abrupt changes, I am always working behind the scenes to equip and facilitate the success of others and let them take the glory and I do not reinvent the wheel (throw the baby out with the wash).  All of that is bathed in prayer as I try to follow the Lord's leading. Those are my tools.  They may not work for others or receive the approval of others, but they work for me. I am in my 11th year of operating a business in this community that others who tried it over the decades announced to me that it could not be done!   However, this article is not really about me.   It is about you. Does everything have be done your way or deemed by you as being done wrong?  Is your way of doing things the gold-standard for everyone else in the world?  Is your motto, "It is my way or the highway"   Do you have any idea how nauseating that attitude is for those who serve under you?  

When I was a pastor, God used me to fix bad churches. One of he ways I would do that is to write at the top of a piece of paper, "Job Description for" followed by a staff member's name.  The remainder of the page was blank. I gave that paper to the staff member and said, "When you have completed your Job Description please sign and date and and return it to me."  When the staff member did that, I would read it over, sign and date it, make a copy and hand the original back to him or her and say, "Thank you. Here is your Job Description."  In other words, I was saying to each one, "Tell me what God has called and equipped you to do." When they did, I told them to "Go do it."  I gave them the ultimate freedom to do what God put in their heart and to do it their way.  I did not say, "I am the pastor of this church and you will do what I say the way I tell you to do it."  

Well, anyway, and in conclusion, I am not the gold-standard for how to do things and neither are you. God is.  Set those under your leadership free to be what God has called them to be. Leadership is mostly about finding the right people and then freeing and facilitating them to succeed.  You do not have to tell everyone how to hold their fork even if they hold it differently than you hold yours.

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Rev. Joda Collins

I make no claim that anyone else agrees with me.






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